There Are No Urges...

Name/Nickname: D.J.
Age: 22

Likes: Literature (Particularly fantasy, horror, essays, surrealism and graphic novels,) music, movies, bookstore browsing, activism work, phone calls, letters and packages from my girl, wild days out with my baby sister, night-time, ramen, coffee, vodka, clove cigarettes, Autumn, typewriters, run-down houses, graveyards, conversations at three in the morning, vintage clothing, stars, old people and GLBT couples holding hands in public, Victoriana, the unusualness of every-day life.

Dislikes: The self-righteous, the ignorant, people who have no sense of balance nor can see the grey area in life. Uber conservative folk, bible beaters, white kids from the suburbs who think they're "gangsta." People who think because you're from the state of Kentucky, you automatically sleep with your cousin and drink moonshine and watch NASCAR. Emo-teenies. People who have no command of the English language. Reality Television. Tom Cruise. Any movie with Ashton Kutcher in it. Teeth-grinders and this list can keep going.


Strong points:

I am a creative person. I live for creativity, for making new things, for being revolutionary. Creativity for me is finding an outlet for emotions that I have trouble dealing with. I have a hard time just discussing how I feel, person to person and through creativity, I can walk past that personal barrier and speak, honestly and fully.

I have a sense of humor. I love making others laugh. I will admit that I will go out of my way to make those around me laugh. I will dance in the middle of a supermarket and pardon my french, I will make myself look like an ass when the time is right. Comedy is all about timing. But seeing or hearing people that I care about laugh, that's just peachy.

I am a loving person and I love making the people I feel close to feel loved. I believe that love is a blanket against the outside world. The real world is a rather harsh place and I like to think that coming home to someone that loves you and cares about you is a balm for the soul. It gives someone the opportunity to re-charge and face things fresh. It renews a person.

I am strong. I’ve survived a lot in my young life and I know that I will weather a lot more too. I didn't have a great childhood and I currently suffer from both Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and chronic depression. I have a hard time feeling great but I know that things will get better. I know that I got an inner fire to keep going and I won't let it go out, no matter what. To me, that's claiming defeat and that to me, is a rather frightening prospect. So, strength is important to me.


Weaker points:

I’m a cynic. I’m a roaring cynic. I always seem to believe that things will never ever get better. That people have motives and that all is not fair or good. I have a rather bleak and gritty view towards the world at large. It's survival of the fittest and when I hear someone go one a some-what rant about peace and love and hugs and kisses, I want to hurl. I know that there are good things out there but watching out for the wolves is the hardest part.


I have a tendency to think that I’m not good enough. Mostly, this is in the realm of creative projects but I think it stems from a perfectionist streak. I just constantly want things to be bigger, better and just awesome when it comes to that. I’m always striving for that and it makes me somewhat doubt my abilities. It irritates the aforementioned girlfriend and a few others. Those said people think that I'm utterly brilliant. Me, I only see the flaws.

I have a really hard time with authority. Ever since I was little, I never did what I was told and still don’t. I feel that why does someone have authority? What makes them think that they are right? Right and wrong are perceptions. Maybe what I feel might be right and if I'm wrong, then I will learn from my mistakes. I feel that authority hampers my ability to test the boundaries, to see how far I can go and to make mistakes as said before. Hence, why I'm quite rebellious.

I’m stubborn and won’t back down from any occasion. I think I get this from my mother. My mother is the most stubborn person I know and she had pounded into my head since I could remember that I must be independent and able to make it on my own, without help from anyone. Because all you got is yourself in the end to make it. So, when I come to a position on something, because of this, I find it hard to not stand my ground, even if it is on something trivial.

I’m too critical of others, my baby sister can vouch for this. I constantly pick at things. I constantly see flaws, as said before, not just with myself but with others. I think this maybe a bit of superiority complex or maybe I'm over-compensating for something. I just think that people should show some intiative, some motivation and to try to do their best. When I see someone being a slacker or not showing anything to me. I percieve them as being nothing more than a lazy, lump of nothing. I need to see someone really giving it their all or I get critical.



What is something you'd change about yourself?:

Hands down, the poly-cystic ovarian syndrome. Because of it, it has made my life a lot harder than it should have been. I wake up to mind numbing ovarian pain, I can't

Hobbies & Talents: Honestly, a lot of that is answered in my "likes question's" answer. I like writing, reading, cooking, listening to music, watching movies, activism work, things of that nature. This question felt a bit redundant.

Favorite colors: Black, red, purple and anything covered in glitter. Not like garish, "Velvet Goldmine" type glitter but anything sparkly. I know, not a true color but still.

Favorite foods: Cheese, Chinese Cuisine, Fettucine Alfredo, Chocolate, Ice-Cream, Peanut Butter, Salad, Eggs and Apples

Mature or Immature?: Actually, pretty mature. I feel any more that there are just some small things in life that really don't matter. I feel that some arguments are just petty and aren't worth fighting over. I also don't like to act out of accordance to a situation. In all truth, immature people irk me.

Leader or Follower?: Neither. I haven't the patience with others to be a leader and I also don't have the facilities to keep control of a situation when there's more than just me in the equation. With being a follower, I'll be blunt, I doubt that I could kiss someone's ass and I don't cotton well to orders. I have always marched to my own drum and I've always was a country to myself. So, I'm just an individual, neither leader nor follower.

Optimistic or Pessimistic?: I am the eternal pessimist. Trust me, I can be down right bleak when the situation hits me just right.

Day or Night Person? Night. I am like a vampire and I'm being quite serious. I hate being out in the day. I hate a blazing sun. When I take on employment, I normally take third-shift. I really can not function before noon.

Social or more aloof? Aloof as all get out. I'm not a people person. I don't connect well with others, even though I will admit I do show a bit of cordiality and politeness. I prefer my own company as a whole.

Favorite quote & why?: I don't do quotes. Personally, since I've came onto the internet three years ago, most people have this thing about quotes. I take really no stock in them. But one I do like was from the novel, "Queen of the Damned" by Anne Rice that my girlfriend used to describe me once: "Alexander the Great cried when he had no more worlds to conquer. So, are you going to cry when there are no more rules to break?" So, take this question as you will.

What is the last book you've read?: Kabuki: Circle of Blood by David Mack. "Kabuki" is a graphic novel series set in futuristic Japan and is about a young woman and her group of vigilantes who try to bring down the organized crime unit in Kyoto. I love the series for its abstract-ness and not to mention, the creator lives just five minutes from my door.


What are your goals and ambitions:


I think I went into this hard-core on this topic at other communities but once again, I want to be a published author. I've wanted this for so long and I've worked so hard for it already. I've got a completed novel that's being considered by an agent and three novels I'm working on. I've got a cadre of short stories I've been working on. I got a script that's being considered by the KnowTheatreTribe of Cincinnati and I've being toying around with a Graphic Novel script. I want my works to be out there, to be appreciated and to be adored or inspiring.

The other thing I want, is mostly the romantic side of me coming out to play but I want to be the best partner for my girlfriend that I can possibly be. I want to be the person she can come to, no matter what. I want her to know that she is loved and adored and worshipped in a sense. But yes, I want to be the perfect "husband" as a lot of my friends have been referring to me as.


Where do you see yourself in 5 years?:

I think I see myself married to the girlfriend I talk a lot about (but I love her, darn it) and still working on getting published. I'll probably be living in the West Coast and probably a lot better off than I am now.

What are your closest friends like?: Well, to be honest, I really don't have many friends. Mostly this is because of the fact that they either move or we drift apart. It doesn't bother me too much, because I enjoyed their company when they were present and was willing to move on. But with the people I associate with, the best way to describe them is the fact most people find them threatening or some sort of derelicts but in all truth, they're wonderful people. For example, one of my closest contacts is a professional dominatrix and she's had trouble from certain folk saying she's a harlot and all this. Not to mention the prostitutes, homeless people, drag queens and other colorful folk that I had enjoyed the company of when I frequented a late-night restaurant known as Anchor Grill. So, people who are unconventional, seen probably as negative by the majority but really do care.

How do your friends describe you?: One phrase comes to mind, which is: Toasted Marshmellow. I'm tough, a bit hard to get to know but once I let you through my barrier, I'm warm and sweet. Which is pretty honest. I do place a bit of scrutiny on people before I let them get close but once you get through, I do lavish affection and caring upon those I care about.

When you’re in a group, what's your part in the group dynamic?: Um, I don't do groups. So, I have no dynamic. I'm not called a loner for nothing.

What was the stupidest thing you and your friends have ever done?: Um, actually nothing. We're not the type to get up to shenanigans and the like. Most of the people I associate with are pretty much a sedate group and keep to themselves.

What are your feelings towards each of the four houses?:Hmmmm... Interesting question. I have a weird view towards the houses. I like all of them and would feel honored to be a part of any of them, except Gryffindor. I personally view them as annoying, a bit too clean and wholesome for my tastes and not to mention I dislike Rowling's view towards them, as if they can do nothing wrong. But then again, I’ve never thought of Rowling in a high regard when it comes to characterization. It's lop-sided. With Ravenclaw, I find them intriguing. I'm a Luna fan, I love her way of thinking and if I was a student during the Harry-era, I'd be friends with her just so I could see what she does next. I love intelligent people and hence why I admire them. With Hufflepuff, I think that they are adorable in a lot of ways. I see them as earthy, warm-hearted people and in some ways, I just see them as huggable. With Slytherin, I find them to be very classy, very elegant people, wonderfully old-fashioned (which to me, isn’t a bad thing). I find the one-sided, they’re the “Von Evils” thing a bit tiresome after awhile.

Describe the house qualities that you feel accurately reflect you. Please try to include traits from each of the four houses.:

Gryffindor: Boldness. I’m not scared to say what I think and I’ll do what I like, regardless of what others’ think. I’m a bit of an exhibitionist, mostly because I love to see the look on some people’s faces and hopefully, my words or actions might get them to question things as whole and blur their sense of reality.

Ravenclaw: Intelligence. I love intelligence, I value it. And to be truthful, intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac to me. I believe that intelligence makes my life more valued, more rich. It gives me more resources and topics to talk with others about.

Hufflepuff: Hard working/industrious. I am a workaholic. I am constantly in go-mode and am constantly furthering what I had set out to do. I believe in elbow-grease. I believe in effort. So, therefore, the hard-working side of Hufflepuff.

Slytherin: The ambition. I've always had high goals for myself. I've always had a ton of dreams and there is so much that I was with my life. I have a lot of drive and I know what I want and I'm getting it too.

Given the choice, which house would you NOT want to be in?: As I had said before, Gryffindor. I can’t help but to be a bit irritated by them as whole and a lot of what they value, I personally don’t value. Especially, as mentioned before, the whole “goody-goody,” we’re right, you’re wrong attitude.

Anything else?: This was super.

How did you find this community?: Just browsing, actually.
Pictures. Or a description of yourself.

Okay, I don’t take pictures most of the time and I feel odd putting them on the net. To describe how I look. I’m extremely tall for a woman. I’m 6’2’’ and I am a large woman. I’m not fat, mind but rather Amazonian, stocky, solidly-built. I’m pale, with burgundy-colored hair cut into a bob. I have a rounded face, with blue eyes that have blue-tinted whites. I have a medium-sized nose and full lips. I have no face blemishes and my fingernails are long and always painted.